The X-men universe has everyone buzzing after this week’s performance in movie theaters nation-wide. There were early indications that unexpected things were on the horizon, but nobody expected anything like this. If Fox wanted to get people talking about their movies, then they certainly did it. Because, baby, we’ve got a Deadpool 2 Trailer! Oh, and Logan came out. But you can read about that elsewhere on our site.
The Deadpool trailer, which is titled No Good Deed, starts out with Wade Wilson walking down the streets of a very sinister, very grimdark looking city. When W takes his headphones out, we can hear that he is listening to John Parr’s St. Elmo’s Fire because he’s Deadpool so of course he is.
Then Deadpool turns to look down an alley where he sees an old man being robbed at gunpoint. The mugger wants to take his money or his groceries. Whatever it is, it isn’t important. What is important is that a hero is needed, so Deadpool springs into action.
This is where the Easter Eggs start to come out. As we watch Wade run across the street, we notice that he is outside a movie theater. On the marquee of that theater, we see that Logan is playing tonight. We continue to hear the threats of violence against the old man’s life in the background.
When Ryan Renold’s Deadpool finally gets across the street, we see the reason why he was running away from the crime. He needs to change into his superhero suit! So he ducks inside of a telephone booth which- interestingly- has the word “HOPE” written on it. This is the first of several places we will see that written through this trailer.
We also get another great Easter Egg while Reynolds is in the phone booth. While he is changing, he presses his bare ass up against the glass for all the world to see. We’re not going to post that image, but we’ve got the video all cued up for you if you’re interested. As the old man continues to cry out in desperation for help, we also see the words “Nathan Summers Coming Soon!” written on the outside of the telephone booth. Those in the know will recognize that as the name of Deadpool’s partner in crime Cable, who has been rumored to be appearing in Deadpool 2.
All changed and ready to save the day, Deadpool jumps out of his telephone booth in full costumed regalia. Behind him, we see a number of posters for the 2002 television series Firefly on DVD, for some reason. If that reason was a hint that Nathan Fillion would be playing Cable in Deadpool 2, we’d be all for it. But we don’t expect that’s the case since his name hasn’t been mentioned in any of the casting rumors surrounding the movie.
We get a quick peek at Stan “The Man” Lee. Stan’s cameo work in Marvel property films has become famous. If he’s branching out to trailers, we’re excited to see what he does next.
When Deadpool gets across the street we get a poster for Logan, the movie this trailer is running in front of in theaters. We also get a message that “Oggy was here!” which could be a reference to the Mountain Giant from the Thor comics named Oggmunder Dragglevadd Vinnsuvius XVII, but is probably nothing.
Alas, we find out that Deadpool is too late. The old man he was trying to save is dead. This shouldn’t surprise us too much. Deadpool is kind of a terrible superhero. Other than his girlfriend, he didn’t really ever save anybody in the first movie. He’s mostly a killing kind of a guy, not so much a saving kind of a guy.
Never one to get bogged down, Deadpool begins talking to the old man’s body as he lays down on top of him and bgins to eat the ice cream from his groceries.
As far as the release date for the movie, all we found out was that it won’t be soon enough.
After the trailer was a fast-scrolling piece of text that captured everyone’s attention because of how hard it was to read. As it scrolls by, we hear Reynolds complaining that all Logan never wore his costume, just a tank top and a pair of jeans. The text is a synopsis of Hemmingway’s The Old Man and the Sea. We’ve transcribed it below if you’re interested.
The Old Man and the Sea is the story of a fight between an elderly, accomplished fisherman, Santiago, and a really big fish. Like… HUGE. The story opens with Santiago suffering eighty-four days without catching a fish because he’s the unluckiest son-of-a-bitch on planet earth. Honestly, if you were in a boat for eighty-four days, it’d be hard to NOT catch a fish… even by accident. Santiago was so unlucky that his apprentice, Manolin, was forbidden by his Ma and Pa to fish with him. But as The Fresh Prince used to say, ‘Parents Just Don’t Understand’. So the boy visits Santiago’s shack anyway.
Ignoring the inherent risks of unsupervised playtime with an elderly man who talks to himself, Manolin helps out, moving Santiago’s fishing gear, making food and talking about baseball. Especially Joe DiMaggio; who used to bump fuzzies with Marilyn Monroe. The next day, Santiago tells Manolin that he’s going way out into the Gulf Stream. WAY OUT north of Cuba. Lady luck is returning!
On the eighty-fifth day of his crappy luck, Santiago drops his lines, and by noon, gets a bite from what feels like a big ass fish. He’s sure it’s a winner. He fights and fights and fights but can’t pull the monster in. Santiago’s leaky old boat is pulled by the fish for two days and nights as he holds on for dear life. Even though he’s bloody and beat, Santiago begins to appreciate this mighty adversary. He starts calling him “brother” or maybe even, “bro.” It’s sort of a love story if you really think about it. And like most romantic comedies, the reader pictures a delightful outfit changing montage, followed by the inevitable interspecies wedding.
But on the third day, Santiago is freakin’ EXHAUSTED, and decides he just wants the fish to do what he says and not always swim wherever it wants. So he stabs it. With a f*cking harpoon. It’s a mess. Super gross. Blood everywhere. Because, like many men his age, Santiago has difficulty expressing his emotions and fears with words – instead giving in to base desires – and imposing his gigantically terrible positions on any given subject through unblinking violence. Typical.
Anyway, he straps the marlin to the side of his skiff and hits the road home, ready to act like a total show off to everyone and probably gouge people on the price. But guess what? Pretty soon sharks begin to attack the bleeding marlin’s carcass, because we all know, life is a tragic opera and just when you think you’ve finally found something good and true, sharks come along and rip it all to f*cking shreds while dry-humping your dignity with their crazy-weird shark dicks. Sure, Santiago tries killing a few of them, but drops his harpoon because his hands are just as old as he is. By nighttime, the sharks have pretty much eaten the entire marlin.
Only a bleach-white skeleton remains, silently mocking him in the murky darkness. Santiago realizes he’s still unlucky. REALLY unlucky. (Duh!) He calls the sharks “dream killers”. Which isn’t really all that fair. I mean, the sharks were just doing their job and the marlin… Jesus, don’t even get me started on the marlin! It was just hanging out one day, minding it’s own business, maybe thinking about ways it could be a better provider for it’s family and WHAM! Harpoon in the brain. Who’s the “dream killer” now, f*ckface? The hypocrisy is pretty much boundless at this point.
Eventually Santiago makes it ashore. Leaving the bones of the marlin and the boat, he hobbles to his shack. He makes it home and crashes, like I said – he’s super tired. The next morning a group of fishermen gather around Santiago’s boat. One measures the skeleton and, holy shit-shingles! It’s over 18 feet! The head of the fish is given to Pedrico (strange that this is the first mention of him) and the other fishermen ask Manolin to send their glad tidings to the old man.
Manolin brings Santiago newspapers and coffee when he wakes and they decide to fish together again. Many years later, there’s a Red Lobster Restaurant in nearly every city in America, offering a casual dining experience and convenient parking.
As far as why the Deadpool trailer has a plot synopsis of The Old Man and the Sea we only have two guesses. The first is that it’s because Logan, the film the trailer ran in front of, is based on a comic book called Old man Logan. The second is that Deadpool 2 will, in fact, be an adaptation of the Hemingway story instead of any of the Deadpool comics. Either way, we can’t wait to see more (hopefully including Cable).
Be sure to follow us on Twitter @NerdItHereFirst to stay up to date on Deadpool 2 and all other comic book and movie news. And let us know if you spotted any Easter Eggs we missed in the comments!